do you snore?

I’ve been told that I do.  But only by Richie Coldcuts.  And he can be so devilish that he may have just said that to bug me.  It’s decidedly un-feminine.  Another one of those things that if a guy does it, it just makes him manly, but if a woman does it, you think ‘woof’!  So, true confession, I have occasionally, well seldom really, I mean maybe ONCE, woken myself up from snoring.   But I think that ONE time I had a massive head cold — you know, so you stop breathing through your nose and all.

Richie Coldcuts on the other hand has absolutely no room to talk.  Approximately 30 seconds after laying down, you’d swear someone just pull-started a chainsaw.  Seriously, he goes instantly out, sometimes even if he isn’t laying down.  Think airplanes, movie theaters (yeah, that can be embarrassing).   BUT, and this is big but, once I fall asleep, I don’t hear it.  At all.  I’ve always been told that I ‘sleep the sleep of the dead’.  When I was young, I didn’t know what that meant.  What I did know was that I slept through several hurricanes that blew through Miami, and I had to put my alarm clock across the room so I couldn’t just tap it off.  Often when I finally heard it, it had been ringing for 15-20 minutes.  As an adult, I wasn’t that uber-responsible, overly worried parent who stayed awake until the last child was safely home.  Nope.  I’d fall asleep, and once asleep, I n-e-v-e-r even heard them come in.  Even when they (claimed that they) woke me up to say goodnight.  And if they came home with friends, and say, made some margaritas in the blender (virgin, they said), I didn’t hear it.

Yeah, yeah, all my insomniac friends say how ‘lucky’ I am that I can sleep like that.  But there are certainly drawbacks.  I worry that I would sleep through a fire.  And I should have been awake when those kids got home!  But, sleeping is my hobby.  I’m neither a morning person, nor a night owl.  I like to go to bed early and wake up late!  Lazy, Mr. Coldcuts says.  But I say I’m one of the few non-sleep-deprived adults.  I have a terrible time waking up in the morning.  It’s torture.  My brain feels fuzzy for the first hour I’m awake.  Do you think it’s because I snore all night?

I’ll catch up with you in my next post.  I’m going to take a nap now!