Richie coldcuts and I are cruisers. Me more than him — he humors me. But we’ve been on a lot of cruises. There are so many stories to share, hence the title of this article (more versions to come!). Last year, we cruised from San Francisco to Fort Lauderdale. The highlight of the cruise was the Panama Canal crossing, but the funniest thing that happened on that cruise occurred on a Puerto Vallarta, Mexico excursion.
I had always wanted to do one of those ‘horseback riding on the beach’ excursions and Puerto Vallarta advertised their version of that (substituting a river crossing for a beach). It sounded great and we signed up. We were bussed to a ranch in Jalisco with about 15 other riders. When we arrived we were given a quick safety and how-to-steer-your-horse speech. Next they started matching riders with horses. The only pattern I could glean was the taller the rider, the bigger the horse. One tall, skinny teenager ended up on a huge stallion. And it wasn’t 100% consistent; I got a nice-sized horse, and I’m 5’5″ and medium build. Richie coldcuts was the second to the last to get a horse. And I use that term very loosely, because surely the animal they brought out was a rather small donkey. Richie was in disbelief, because although only 5’10” tall, he’s what we jokingly call ‘husky’.
The ride was hot and slow and the horses were often biting each other. I rarely got to see or talk to my hubby because that poor li’l donkey had such a hard time with his cargo! They were dead last in line. We never saw water at all; no beach, no river, not even a puddle. When we returned we were rewarded with several Tequila tastings which served to enhance the amusement factor of our so-called horseback ride on the beach. The picture says it all; we just hope the poor little donkey didn’t have to be put down!