un-scheduled

My life is a blur.  I feel like time is literally FLYING.  And that I never have enough time in a day.  Ever feel like that?  How is that possible when I’m no longer employed fulltime?  I admit, when I was younger, I occasionally ran into folks who had retired from the large company where I worked.  And they always said “I’ve never been so busy in my life!”  I always thought ‘well, you’re old, so it just takes a lot of time to do nothing‘, being the snotty, younger, all-the-balls-in-the-air working mom that I was.  Well fast forward and I’ve become that person.  You know, the OLD one.  But it’s not that I’m doing nothing; quite the opposite.

See, I’m still trying to work, albeit at something completely new to me.  And I’m learning as I go.  SEO Copywriting.  It takes research.  It takes practice.  It takes creating a website, and seeking out potential clients, and getting noticed by Google.  I will get very absorbed in a website, or online course, and I blink and it’s 5:p.m.  Which means Richie Coldcuts is heading home and will wonder what I’ve been doing all day.  When he gets home he finds out what I WASN’T doing: laundry, showering(!) collecting the mail, grocery shopping or anything else that would be helpful or productive (in his eyes).   And yet, I was so busy that I didn’t have time to do any of the above.

I keep longing for a week (heck, even two consecutive days) that I have nothing scheduled.  Not a doctor’s appointment, not a social engagement, not getting the car worked on, or having to renew my resident parking decal.  I really thought when my long career ended, I would have time to read, lay around, sleep late, and okay — do nothing.  I crave doing nothing!  What would it be like to be bored?  Yes, really I WANT to be bored.  Just for a day (or two).  My standing daydream is laying in a hammock in a slight breeze, drowsing in and out of consciousness.  Well, it’s not going to happen this month, nor probably this year!  I gotta run now.  It’s nearly 4:00 on Friday and I haven’t even showered.  What did I do all day?  Richie will be here any minute.  Yikes!